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Friday, 21 April 2017

Brain Transplant



The field of medical science is constantly evolving and now it has reached such a point that doctors are planning to perform brain transplants. It has been done successfully with some animals but now doctors hope to perform this on humans. I reckon the idea itself of brain transplantation is a very scary and devastating one, let alone the performing of the procedure because of its numerous problems.

Brain transplant has been successful on animals but that doesn’t mean it will be a success in human counterparts too. If anything is more complex than the Universe, it is the human brain. It is very difficult to connect each and every neurons which send and receive signals from the whole body, in their correct positions. That’s nearly impossible to reconnect all nerve endings correctly. It is highly possible that the body may reject the new brain as it has tendency to act on things which are foreign to it. Psychological effects may also arise. Even if the transplant is successful the person will no longer have his own identity in whole. The person will be distorted in parts as the uniqueness will disappear. You would feel trapped inside the body of another person. The advancement of technology is very beneficial to the world, but I don’t believe this medical technology of brain transplantation is going to help anyone. It will only create havoc if not good. We were born with our own brain which we have developed ourselves, from childhood to adolescence. The mind that we ourselves have developed into who we are, shouldn’t be messed with and given to another person in any case. People who died with healthy brain should also not have their brain put into someone else. Another question is should the brain be of the same age as the person who needs it? This could also bring up other factors such as intelligence, gender or physical problems a person had before death. Another problem would be to determine the duration up to which a brain can be kept alive after death and that too how without damage.

Finally, my thinking about this type of surgery is that it should be avoided on humans until doctors have overcome all the problems and the negative prospects associated with it as it could result in a hitherto never experienced level and quality of insanity.



References:
universe

Brain Transplant

Posted by Subham  |  No comments

Brain Transplant



The field of medical science is constantly evolving and now it has reached such a point that doctors are planning to perform brain transplants. It has been done successfully with some animals but now doctors hope to perform this on humans. I reckon the idea itself of brain transplantation is a very scary and devastating one, let alone the performing of the procedure because of its numerous problems.

Brain transplant has been successful on animals but that doesn’t mean it will be a success in human counterparts too. If anything is more complex than the Universe, it is the human brain. It is very difficult to connect each and every neurons which send and receive signals from the whole body, in their correct positions. That’s nearly impossible to reconnect all nerve endings correctly. It is highly possible that the body may reject the new brain as it has tendency to act on things which are foreign to it. Psychological effects may also arise. Even if the transplant is successful the person will no longer have his own identity in whole. The person will be distorted in parts as the uniqueness will disappear. You would feel trapped inside the body of another person. The advancement of technology is very beneficial to the world, but I don’t believe this medical technology of brain transplantation is going to help anyone. It will only create havoc if not good. We were born with our own brain which we have developed ourselves, from childhood to adolescence. The mind that we ourselves have developed into who we are, shouldn’t be messed with and given to another person in any case. People who died with healthy brain should also not have their brain put into someone else. Another question is should the brain be of the same age as the person who needs it? This could also bring up other factors such as intelligence, gender or physical problems a person had before death. Another problem would be to determine the duration up to which a brain can be kept alive after death and that too how without damage.

Finally, my thinking about this type of surgery is that it should be avoided on humans until doctors have overcome all the problems and the negative prospects associated with it as it could result in a hitherto never experienced level and quality of insanity.



References:

4/21/2017 08:59:00 pm Share:

Biological Warfare

This was a research paper I wrote for my second semester course Rhetoric and Composition.


People who find this paper useful may refer to it.
war

Biological Warfare - research paper

Posted by Subham  |  2 comments

Biological Warfare

This was a research paper I wrote for my second semester course Rhetoric and Composition.


People who find this paper useful may refer to it.

4/21/2017 08:39:00 pm Share:

Monday, 17 April 2017

Digital Business is business that is based on digital media like the Internet, computers or smartphones (not limited to digital devices like IoT but also others). It is the business that derives most of its working infrastructure from digital platforms.

Over the past few years we have seen the emergence of digital web service companies as big behemoths of present business economy. Companies like Uber are solely driving their revenue from the digital frontier without any kind of physical capital investment on the end products of their business, i.e., cars. Recent outburst of video on demand services like Netflix has become huge compared to the traditional companies without digital business. Amazon, Facebook, Google and many other digital businesses are booming as more and more people get acquainted with the World Wide Web.

Traditional business houses that are switching to digital business by using the perks of SAAS (software as a service) are doing well compared to the ones non adaptive of technology. Now firms that will invest some amount of their revenue to alter their current working mechanism to cloud based solutions will get a benefit in the long run. This is because keeping the resource that is being used to drive the company on the cloud helps in sharing the resource in remote branches of the company. The custom tailoring of resources for specific usage is also very convenient in case of cloud based platforms.

Now most of the transactions we see are either cash or digital money of their respective national currency. We are already seeing transactions done in bitcoins. A bitcoin is a type of digital currency in which encryption techniques are used to regulate the generation of units of currency and verify the transfer of funds, operating independently of a central bank. But in the near future we may see a digital economy where most transactions are done using blockchain which is a distributed database that maintains a continuously growing list of ordered records called blocks. Each block contains a timestamp and a link to a previous block. This way we have assured prevention of any kind of breach in the security of the transaction data.

Now it has been seen that most of the non-digital business companies find it hard to incorporate digital platforms in their existing infrastructure. There is a solution to this problem. Companies instead of channelling their IT department to migrate their system to digital may adopt a feasible technology start-up to begin with which can later power their digital business.

With the invention of better techniques to implement technologies like machine learning and internet of things, digital businesses are going to thrive at their zenith in the coming years. New ideas like AI implementation in customer relations will improve market capturing and drive growth.

In future there will be huge stress on governments all over the world to transform every transaction into the digital form to eliminate cases of theft, stealing, or black economy. The Government of India is already on its heels to make the Digital India initiative successful and effective. So it is best for every company or start-up to focus on digital business as it is going to be the most successful domain in business.
uber

Foresee Digital Business

Posted by Subham  |  No comments

Digital Business is business that is based on digital media like the Internet, computers or smartphones (not limited to digital devices like IoT but also others). It is the business that derives most of its working infrastructure from digital platforms.

Over the past few years we have seen the emergence of digital web service companies as big behemoths of present business economy. Companies like Uber are solely driving their revenue from the digital frontier without any kind of physical capital investment on the end products of their business, i.e., cars. Recent outburst of video on demand services like Netflix has become huge compared to the traditional companies without digital business. Amazon, Facebook, Google and many other digital businesses are booming as more and more people get acquainted with the World Wide Web.

Traditional business houses that are switching to digital business by using the perks of SAAS (software as a service) are doing well compared to the ones non adaptive of technology. Now firms that will invest some amount of their revenue to alter their current working mechanism to cloud based solutions will get a benefit in the long run. This is because keeping the resource that is being used to drive the company on the cloud helps in sharing the resource in remote branches of the company. The custom tailoring of resources for specific usage is also very convenient in case of cloud based platforms.

Now most of the transactions we see are either cash or digital money of their respective national currency. We are already seeing transactions done in bitcoins. A bitcoin is a type of digital currency in which encryption techniques are used to regulate the generation of units of currency and verify the transfer of funds, operating independently of a central bank. But in the near future we may see a digital economy where most transactions are done using blockchain which is a distributed database that maintains a continuously growing list of ordered records called blocks. Each block contains a timestamp and a link to a previous block. This way we have assured prevention of any kind of breach in the security of the transaction data.

Now it has been seen that most of the non-digital business companies find it hard to incorporate digital platforms in their existing infrastructure. There is a solution to this problem. Companies instead of channelling their IT department to migrate their system to digital may adopt a feasible technology start-up to begin with which can later power their digital business.

With the invention of better techniques to implement technologies like machine learning and internet of things, digital businesses are going to thrive at their zenith in the coming years. New ideas like AI implementation in customer relations will improve market capturing and drive growth.

In future there will be huge stress on governments all over the world to transform every transaction into the digital form to eliminate cases of theft, stealing, or black economy. The Government of India is already on its heels to make the Digital India initiative successful and effective. So it is best for every company or start-up to focus on digital business as it is going to be the most successful domain in business.

4/17/2017 07:12:00 pm Share:

Thursday, 13 April 2017

People talk about girls being judged on their character depending on the kind of attire they wear. But do we talk about the problem of judging from the base. If you look closely in your own thoughts, inside our own self, most of us will find that we judge pretty much everything. People who are feminist, people who are of  contemporary thoughts, people who are ready to embrace the open world thinking, they all judge. We all judge.

I consider myself an individual who is indifferent to any kind of bias including but not limited to gender, cast, race, religion, ethnicity, or anything. But today I realised how wrong I was.

A small incident that happened earlier in the evening today brought me down from my false sense of being a bias free individual. There is a small shop beside my hostel building which is quite famous among the college students as their favourite place for smoking. Behind the shop and alongside the hostel building there is a free space, partially hidden from the bustle of the road. Most folks smoke their life out sitting on the low-rise boundary wall. Today when my friend(ex-roommate) called me to meet him there, as he usually does, I saw one of the seniors of our hostel. The immediate thought that came to my mind was, "He also smokes!". Now think about this situation. I hardly know that guy but had a previous notion of him being a decent fellow, and hence the shock. But is it right. How do I judge that person to be a smoker or not just by the place where I saw him. In reality he was there to talk with his friends just like me. What is notable here is the thing that I found out how big a hypocrite I am. I assume students to be non descent if they smoke.

If I delve into it to the finest details I find that the way we are brought up is the cause of all these. The way we are trained from childhood is how our mind shapes up to be later. The society and their ripples is what we are fed right from the beginning. Just a year back I had made myself believe that alcohol or cigarette are not necessarily the parameters for a good or bad person. But even then my brain unconsciously judges people on their choices and activities.
Is it because of my own mindset or is it because of the mindset I have developed as a result of my upbringing in which society had a great role to play?

Well, I still try to not judge. But for us Indians to do so, is really difficult. Maybe the future generations will be better in this.

thoughts

We Judge

Posted by Subham  |  2 comments

People talk about girls being judged on their character depending on the kind of attire they wear. But do we talk about the problem of judging from the base. If you look closely in your own thoughts, inside our own self, most of us will find that we judge pretty much everything. People who are feminist, people who are of  contemporary thoughts, people who are ready to embrace the open world thinking, they all judge. We all judge.

I consider myself an individual who is indifferent to any kind of bias including but not limited to gender, cast, race, religion, ethnicity, or anything. But today I realised how wrong I was.

A small incident that happened earlier in the evening today brought me down from my false sense of being a bias free individual. There is a small shop beside my hostel building which is quite famous among the college students as their favourite place for smoking. Behind the shop and alongside the hostel building there is a free space, partially hidden from the bustle of the road. Most folks smoke their life out sitting on the low-rise boundary wall. Today when my friend(ex-roommate) called me to meet him there, as he usually does, I saw one of the seniors of our hostel. The immediate thought that came to my mind was, "He also smokes!". Now think about this situation. I hardly know that guy but had a previous notion of him being a decent fellow, and hence the shock. But is it right. How do I judge that person to be a smoker or not just by the place where I saw him. In reality he was there to talk with his friends just like me. What is notable here is the thing that I found out how big a hypocrite I am. I assume students to be non descent if they smoke.

If I delve into it to the finest details I find that the way we are brought up is the cause of all these. The way we are trained from childhood is how our mind shapes up to be later. The society and their ripples is what we are fed right from the beginning. Just a year back I had made myself believe that alcohol or cigarette are not necessarily the parameters for a good or bad person. But even then my brain unconsciously judges people on their choices and activities.
Is it because of my own mindset or is it because of the mindset I have developed as a result of my upbringing in which society had a great role to play?

Well, I still try to not judge. But for us Indians to do so, is really difficult. Maybe the future generations will be better in this.

4/13/2017 08:49:00 pm Share:

Wednesday, 1 February 2017


I don't know why people invented that word. That word is no short of acting as a nuclear weapon for an individual like me who isn't strong enough for things like those. There might be people like me who may feel that serious accusations like 'padhaku' should not be put unless and until it's really the fact. When I don't study at all and people call me padhaku I go into a state of lapse. Earlier I used to defend, now I am out of clue as my defence mechanism has accepted defeat.

Is it because you did well in school you're a padhaku, no matter how much time has passed after school?
Even after you've done very poor in plus two, you are a padhaku?
Even after you're not doing your graduation from any elite institute, you're a padhaku!
Even after you're just average in college, you're a padhaku!
Even after you've come to a stage that you start hating studies or you don't want people to see you with books (even if you're really not studying) just because you don't want them to consider/label you a padhaku.

Even after all this you would still find souls who launch that nuclear weapon upon you, not that they think about what this verbal wound could cause, but they're the people right? They have every right to say or feel whatever they want. I am yet to find out a solution to this. But because of this some may say, why or how does it matter to me. For them, they would never know it's how I am hard-wired. It's how I function or maybe it's true that I am weak, feeble.

P.S: 'Padhaku' is a hindi word which literally means 'Studious' but is used in a bullying way as an expletive/swear.

topper

Padhaku

Posted by Subham  |  No comments


I don't know why people invented that word. That word is no short of acting as a nuclear weapon for an individual like me who isn't strong enough for things like those. There might be people like me who may feel that serious accusations like 'padhaku' should not be put unless and until it's really the fact. When I don't study at all and people call me padhaku I go into a state of lapse. Earlier I used to defend, now I am out of clue as my defence mechanism has accepted defeat.

Is it because you did well in school you're a padhaku, no matter how much time has passed after school?
Even after you've done very poor in plus two, you are a padhaku?
Even after you're not doing your graduation from any elite institute, you're a padhaku!
Even after you're just average in college, you're a padhaku!
Even after you've come to a stage that you start hating studies or you don't want people to see you with books (even if you're really not studying) just because you don't want them to consider/label you a padhaku.

Even after all this you would still find souls who launch that nuclear weapon upon you, not that they think about what this verbal wound could cause, but they're the people right? They have every right to say or feel whatever they want. I am yet to find out a solution to this. But because of this some may say, why or how does it matter to me. For them, they would never know it's how I am hard-wired. It's how I function or maybe it's true that I am weak, feeble.

P.S: 'Padhaku' is a hindi word which literally means 'Studious' but is used in a bullying way as an expletive/swear.

2/01/2017 10:03:00 pm Share:

Friday, 25 November 2016

Imagine how a person would feel if his friend tells him that they wouldn't ever call him in case of emergency, when they need help in any situation, just because the person avoids taking help or gifts from them because he believes he shouldn't be a debtor in anything, believes in equilibrium. The person avoids or resists gifts or things like that just because he is wired that way from childhood. That's what he has been taught by his environment. Maybe since he thinks he can't afford to gift stuff as others do, he resists or doesn't feel good about taking something from someone without paying. This may come across as totally weird to some, and some may even not understand what I am taking about here, but think about the person. How hurt or wrong he might feel thinking that his friend wouldn't take his help just because he resists taking gifts.

Well, people are as diverse as their DNAs make them. Nothing to be done here!

sad

Melancholy

Posted by Subham  |  1 comment

Imagine how a person would feel if his friend tells him that they wouldn't ever call him in case of emergency, when they need help in any situation, just because the person avoids taking help or gifts from them because he believes he shouldn't be a debtor in anything, believes in equilibrium. The person avoids or resists gifts or things like that just because he is wired that way from childhood. That's what he has been taught by his environment. Maybe since he thinks he can't afford to gift stuff as others do, he resists or doesn't feel good about taking something from someone without paying. This may come across as totally weird to some, and some may even not understand what I am taking about here, but think about the person. How hurt or wrong he might feel thinking that his friend wouldn't take his help just because he resists taking gifts.

Well, people are as diverse as their DNAs make them. Nothing to be done here!

11/25/2016 08:57:00 pm Share:

Friday, 4 November 2016

For example, there was a song in The Killer.......teri yaadon mein khoya rehta hoon......that song must have been heard by all but no one knew the singer.  Similarly Ding Dong Ding Dole was a song....very hit.... played in every wedding around that time. There were various songs like that.....like Kya mujhe pyar hai ya......me.... friends around me.... school mates.... every one used to hum His songs....but no one knew.....and the trend continues.....but I lost my ignorance in or around 2009..... watched the winner of that  season's indian idol express the ultimate wish to meet KK. The name itself made me curious. A short form. I had started looking around singers of songs by then. Knew people like Sonu Nigam, Shaan, Pritam, Mika, Sunidhi, Shreya, Udit Narayan, Kumar Sanu, Alka Yagnik..... but nothing about this guy KK. No source of information at all. Used to watch singer interviews on music channels and those singing reality shows just to know if anyone says anything about these 2 letters - KK. Finally I got hold of the internet through bhaiya's Nokia C001 classic java phone. At that time there was a little info of KK on the internet. But thankfully there was this Wikipedia page with all the discography of Him. And then I came to know that most of the amazing songs we are around , are sung by Him. From then on I kept track of Him.  Sajde Kiye Hain Lakhon from Khatta Meetha and I am In Love from Once upon a time in mumbai were the first songs of KK that I heard after I came to know that these were sung by Him. And there on I fell for His singing. Firstly it was His voice that I fell for. That voice which makes you imagine a young charismatic college going boy of 21-22 with all the coolness and charm one can hold. Then I fell for his versatility. The ease with which He pulls off any tone, note, rhythm or scale. His long vocal range that can go as low and as high as it sounds good with that kind of fresh voice. No boundaries at all. Just take an example of Alvida or O Mama or Abhi Abhi or Soniyo or Tere Bin Ho Na Sakega Guzara or Chadhta Sooraj.. huh....list goes on. The feel and emotion I feel in His singing is rare. That is said for most of the established singers, yet for me what He renders touches the heart. Then the more I got to know him through His interviews, news interviews, radio interviews and all his videos on the internet, I fell for his sense of life. I fell for his personality. His views on life, fame, work. His principles of enjoying this ride. His nature and the person he is.

I am an agnostic, but if I think of myself as a believer, then I know He is God.

voice

KK - the most underrated singer !

Posted by Subham  |  6 comments

For example, there was a song in The Killer.......teri yaadon mein khoya rehta hoon......that song must have been heard by all but no one knew the singer.  Similarly Ding Dong Ding Dole was a song....very hit.... played in every wedding around that time. There were various songs like that.....like Kya mujhe pyar hai ya......me.... friends around me.... school mates.... every one used to hum His songs....but no one knew.....and the trend continues.....but I lost my ignorance in or around 2009..... watched the winner of that  season's indian idol express the ultimate wish to meet KK. The name itself made me curious. A short form. I had started looking around singers of songs by then. Knew people like Sonu Nigam, Shaan, Pritam, Mika, Sunidhi, Shreya, Udit Narayan, Kumar Sanu, Alka Yagnik..... but nothing about this guy KK. No source of information at all. Used to watch singer interviews on music channels and those singing reality shows just to know if anyone says anything about these 2 letters - KK. Finally I got hold of the internet through bhaiya's Nokia C001 classic java phone. At that time there was a little info of KK on the internet. But thankfully there was this Wikipedia page with all the discography of Him. And then I came to know that most of the amazing songs we are around , are sung by Him. From then on I kept track of Him.  Sajde Kiye Hain Lakhon from Khatta Meetha and I am In Love from Once upon a time in mumbai were the first songs of KK that I heard after I came to know that these were sung by Him. And there on I fell for His singing. Firstly it was His voice that I fell for. That voice which makes you imagine a young charismatic college going boy of 21-22 with all the coolness and charm one can hold. Then I fell for his versatility. The ease with which He pulls off any tone, note, rhythm or scale. His long vocal range that can go as low and as high as it sounds good with that kind of fresh voice. No boundaries at all. Just take an example of Alvida or O Mama or Abhi Abhi or Soniyo or Tere Bin Ho Na Sakega Guzara or Chadhta Sooraj.. huh....list goes on. The feel and emotion I feel in His singing is rare. That is said for most of the established singers, yet for me what He renders touches the heart. Then the more I got to know him through His interviews, news interviews, radio interviews and all his videos on the internet, I fell for his sense of life. I fell for his personality. His views on life, fame, work. His principles of enjoying this ride. His nature and the person he is.

I am an agnostic, but if I think of myself as a believer, then I know He is God.

11/04/2016 05:30:00 pm Share:

Monday, 19 September 2016


I have always been a person who prefers sitting alone than being around people. I may be called an introvert. I also wanted to die right few years into my childhood. I am the kind of person for whom living or being dead doesn't matter much. Although given a chance I would certainly would like to be in peace, in death. And this conception of mine isn't new. I had been like this right from the childhood. Well are obvious reasons too but that discussion is out of the scope of publishing since it's extremely personal and involves family.

But in the last 2 years, I have been constantly losing people. First my cousin  brother, right in my own arms. I have seen very few people filled with as much wish to enjoy life the way he did. He was what we call carpe diem. He always lived in the present. Spent without caring a damn about future. And death was the last thing he would think if ever he would. He didn't give us more than a few seconds to save him.

This year dadi (grandfather's sister) right before the marriage of his son, just a few days before, met with a TBI. Spent a month in hospital fighting and finally gave up. I with my grandfather went to cremate her. She was the one in the family who was a role model for everyone as she was so much like her brother in strength, leadership, risk-taker and bold. Always wanted to talk so much to her. Never got that occasion. All this only because my grandfather always talked so highly of her. He from time to time used to tell stories of her youth.

And just as two months had passed, a major blow hit. It was my grandfather. Perfectly healthy, perfectly fine, yet this. There's no explanation to this. The person who was the closest to me on this whole big universal set of people I have come to know in my life. Even as I write this I feel has it really happened or is it not reality. How can this happen. It's just unimaginable. He has just perfect. Neither he was very old that we say it's due to that. But yes, one thing I have known from the first death of my life, my cousin brother's, that it doesn't take more than a few seconds to die. It's that easy.
The man who powered the complete house. The man who was behind every little thing that my family is. The man who was my and most of my extended family's idol. The man who started working at the age of 16 to support his big family of 8 siblings with no father or mother. The man who left everything behind for his brothers, took nothing from them and left for a city, to make his own home with his wife. There are so many deeds of him that I know of. I used to tell him why doesn't he start writing an autobiography but as I know he never had time. He was still working for the us at this age. May it be the opening of locks on main gate in morning, be it bringing snacks or vegetables for the house, be it doing all the calculations of the business, be it advice or plan for stocking for the shop, be it any minor or major problem that the house has come up with. He was the man to he sought for any problem. 

It's not very easy to keep myself normal after having lost so much in such a small duration of time. It's not easy to not cry or cry in silence in the nights when you feel that this has really happened. It's not that  easy to come to terms with this recent blow. Those 20 years you have been living with the person, with his orders, with his jokes, with his stories, with his food, with his teachings, with his Geeta recitals, with his immense knowledge of things, and all of a sudden you realise you will not get scolded anymore by him, he will not be there to tell you his experiences anymore, he will not be there to ask you what do you want and he will not bring you whatever you ask for. 

It's acceptable to not live with him but it's not easy to live thinking that he is not there anymore and I can't see him anymore or touch his feet. He will not ask me anymore to massage his legs.
It's not easy.
pain

It's not easy.

Posted by Subham  |  No comments


I have always been a person who prefers sitting alone than being around people. I may be called an introvert. I also wanted to die right few years into my childhood. I am the kind of person for whom living or being dead doesn't matter much. Although given a chance I would certainly would like to be in peace, in death. And this conception of mine isn't new. I had been like this right from the childhood. Well are obvious reasons too but that discussion is out of the scope of publishing since it's extremely personal and involves family.

But in the last 2 years, I have been constantly losing people. First my cousin  brother, right in my own arms. I have seen very few people filled with as much wish to enjoy life the way he did. He was what we call carpe diem. He always lived in the present. Spent without caring a damn about future. And death was the last thing he would think if ever he would. He didn't give us more than a few seconds to save him.

This year dadi (grandfather's sister) right before the marriage of his son, just a few days before, met with a TBI. Spent a month in hospital fighting and finally gave up. I with my grandfather went to cremate her. She was the one in the family who was a role model for everyone as she was so much like her brother in strength, leadership, risk-taker and bold. Always wanted to talk so much to her. Never got that occasion. All this only because my grandfather always talked so highly of her. He from time to time used to tell stories of her youth.

And just as two months had passed, a major blow hit. It was my grandfather. Perfectly healthy, perfectly fine, yet this. There's no explanation to this. The person who was the closest to me on this whole big universal set of people I have come to know in my life. Even as I write this I feel has it really happened or is it not reality. How can this happen. It's just unimaginable. He has just perfect. Neither he was very old that we say it's due to that. But yes, one thing I have known from the first death of my life, my cousin brother's, that it doesn't take more than a few seconds to die. It's that easy.
The man who powered the complete house. The man who was behind every little thing that my family is. The man who was my and most of my extended family's idol. The man who started working at the age of 16 to support his big family of 8 siblings with no father or mother. The man who left everything behind for his brothers, took nothing from them and left for a city, to make his own home with his wife. There are so many deeds of him that I know of. I used to tell him why doesn't he start writing an autobiography but as I know he never had time. He was still working for the us at this age. May it be the opening of locks on main gate in morning, be it bringing snacks or vegetables for the house, be it doing all the calculations of the business, be it advice or plan for stocking for the shop, be it any minor or major problem that the house has come up with. He was the man to he sought for any problem. 

It's not very easy to keep myself normal after having lost so much in such a small duration of time. It's not easy to not cry or cry in silence in the nights when you feel that this has really happened. It's not that  easy to come to terms with this recent blow. Those 20 years you have been living with the person, with his orders, with his jokes, with his stories, with his food, with his teachings, with his Geeta recitals, with his immense knowledge of things, and all of a sudden you realise you will not get scolded anymore by him, he will not be there to tell you his experiences anymore, he will not be there to ask you what do you want and he will not bring you whatever you ask for. 

It's acceptable to not live with him but it's not easy to live thinking that he is not there anymore and I can't see him anymore or touch his feet. He will not ask me anymore to massage his legs.
It's not easy.

9/19/2016 03:58:00 am Share:

Tuesday, 12 April 2016

I wish I had someone by my side now to talk to. Someone other than my relatives. Someone other than my friends. Someone special. Someone whom I could confide myself in. Someone whom I could talk to about anything. My insecurities.  My thoughts. My plans. My hopes. My dreams. Someone who would do the same to me. Someone being with whom I would feel safe. Someone I could always look forward to no matter the lows or highs. Someone to talk to endlessly. Someone who would take away the loneliness. Someone whom just talking to  would provide me with positive fresh energy. Someone whom I too would do the above things.
Enough. That's all for today.

other half

Had there been Someone

Posted by Subham  |  4 comments

I wish I had someone by my side now to talk to. Someone other than my relatives. Someone other than my friends. Someone special. Someone whom I could confide myself in. Someone whom I could talk to about anything. My insecurities.  My thoughts. My plans. My hopes. My dreams. Someone who would do the same to me. Someone being with whom I would feel safe. Someone I could always look forward to no matter the lows or highs. Someone to talk to endlessly. Someone who would take away the loneliness. Someone whom just talking to  would provide me with positive fresh energy. Someone whom I too would do the above things.
Enough. That's all for today.

4/12/2016 07:42:00 pm Share:

Monday, 21 March 2016

Now I know and I am hundred percent certain that I have been cured of this phenomenon called Love. I will be eternally grateful to the entity or hormone or whatever that caused this disease to rip off my soul or mind or body. I am so happy and free now. I wanted this from such a long time.
I don't want to commit this mistake again. It was hell of an experience. I am doing fair if not good right now. I know I will be doing good and I try to achieve that from now on. And yes I also have to spend a little amount of my energy to stay away from this devil - Love. It has always been my request to any fellow human being to stay away from love. It ruins your life. And I say that again.
Thank you.
I am happy again. No more sorrow.

love

Fully cured!

Posted by Subham  |  No comments

Now I know and I am hundred percent certain that I have been cured of this phenomenon called Love. I will be eternally grateful to the entity or hormone or whatever that caused this disease to rip off my soul or mind or body. I am so happy and free now. I wanted this from such a long time.
I don't want to commit this mistake again. It was hell of an experience. I am doing fair if not good right now. I know I will be doing good and I try to achieve that from now on. And yes I also have to spend a little amount of my energy to stay away from this devil - Love. It has always been my request to any fellow human being to stay away from love. It ruins your life. And I say that again.
Thank you.
I am happy again. No more sorrow.

3/21/2016 05:27:00 pm Share:

Friday, 27 November 2015

It's been 3 and half years of my constant trying, to reset this thing and get this load off. I just cannot delete it. Most of the times I feel that, yes I have been successful in doing it. I have overcome. I have recovered from this ruthless and annoying disease. Now am free. But no, when I think more deeply, I find that to be what I want, not what I have been able to achieve. I am just embedding those false feelings over the reality. The reality is, I haven't been able to get rid of it. If God exists (I know there is nothing as such), I always pray that please let me be free again, so that I don't do that mistake again and land myself in trouble. I pray for that button or chemical/physical/hormonal phenomenon which could reset it in any way possible.
I wish I had not fallen in it, the trap. Maybe this is the time it should have happened, and I would have found the correct one without any mistake and would have avoided this long vacant ill period. People/websites/forums say it takes time. But is three years not enough? I envy those people who pass this phase within weeks or months. Almost all seem to pass it in a year or so. What's wrong with me? There are people (whom I find many in numbers and around me all the time) who do it in days. They just don't have any problem at all in moving on. I want to become like them.
When will I be able to leave from the clutches of this evil. Time, please do something. You are my only hope.

I wish if there could be a reset button in Life!

Posted by Subham  |  3 comments

It's been 3 and half years of my constant trying, to reset this thing and get this load off. I just cannot delete it. Most of the times I feel that, yes I have been successful in doing it. I have overcome. I have recovered from this ruthless and annoying disease. Now am free. But no, when I think more deeply, I find that to be what I want, not what I have been able to achieve. I am just embedding those false feelings over the reality. The reality is, I haven't been able to get rid of it. If God exists (I know there is nothing as such), I always pray that please let me be free again, so that I don't do that mistake again and land myself in trouble. I pray for that button or chemical/physical/hormonal phenomenon which could reset it in any way possible.
I wish I had not fallen in it, the trap. Maybe this is the time it should have happened, and I would have found the correct one without any mistake and would have avoided this long vacant ill period. People/websites/forums say it takes time. But is three years not enough? I envy those people who pass this phase within weeks or months. Almost all seem to pass it in a year or so. What's wrong with me? There are people (whom I find many in numbers and around me all the time) who do it in days. They just don't have any problem at all in moving on. I want to become like them.
When will I be able to leave from the clutches of this evil. Time, please do something. You are my only hope.

11/27/2015 12:31:00 pm Share:

Sunday, 11 October 2015


I am really a very high standard idiot. The foolishness in me is vast. Sometimes it's beyond measure. The pristine universe's space isn't huge enough to explain my stupidity. I may also see it as my extreme prowess of taking shortcuts by my dear brain. My brain is so lazy that it takes shortcuts even for the most obvious things. It's an incredible catastrophic kind of resource which has gone out of it's usual doings. If I am to meet someone shouldn't I call them before going out to the meeting venue? But no! My brain takes a shortcut and doesn't think about it, since it has come to know the fact that the person might have already reached just because her father (my father as well) called me telling that why don't I get up, brush my teeth, take bath, have breakfast and go and meet her. Here my brain thinks let's get going because I am already late as I played 4 battles (Clash of Clans) since my father called.

Thus, here I am again in burning anger, cursing myself the whole lot of expletives the mankind has ever invented and known. During this whole 2 hours of waiting which is still on, I would have easily completed my achievement of 1250 trophies under the cool fan on my bed away from this evaporating heat and sweat. I hate this that I wasted this much of time. Why am I waiting here under this tree and typing this article which I think will be in my blog after a very long break. Maybe I start writing only when am too angry or feel very empty. Doesn't matter. I have already thrown my anger on my phone's keypad. But there's still a lot of it for my beloved sister when she arrives.
Enjoy the sun!
Cheers :D
waiting

The Mindless

Posted by Subham  |  No comments


I am really a very high standard idiot. The foolishness in me is vast. Sometimes it's beyond measure. The pristine universe's space isn't huge enough to explain my stupidity. I may also see it as my extreme prowess of taking shortcuts by my dear brain. My brain is so lazy that it takes shortcuts even for the most obvious things. It's an incredible catastrophic kind of resource which has gone out of it's usual doings. If I am to meet someone shouldn't I call them before going out to the meeting venue? But no! My brain takes a shortcut and doesn't think about it, since it has come to know the fact that the person might have already reached just because her father (my father as well) called me telling that why don't I get up, brush my teeth, take bath, have breakfast and go and meet her. Here my brain thinks let's get going because I am already late as I played 4 battles (Clash of Clans) since my father called.

Thus, here I am again in burning anger, cursing myself the whole lot of expletives the mankind has ever invented and known. During this whole 2 hours of waiting which is still on, I would have easily completed my achievement of 1250 trophies under the cool fan on my bed away from this evaporating heat and sweat. I hate this that I wasted this much of time. Why am I waiting here under this tree and typing this article which I think will be in my blog after a very long break. Maybe I start writing only when am too angry or feel very empty. Doesn't matter. I have already thrown my anger on my phone's keypad. But there's still a lot of it for my beloved sister when she arrives.
Enjoy the sun!
Cheers :D

10/11/2015 09:19:00 am Share:
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This is a personal blog of Subham who writes here to help others with tech-solutions or to express himself. So here 'US' consists of Subham only. This blog is purely a work of emotion driven writing except the technology posts. Thanks for visiting.
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