Lines

Kisi ko dekhne ke liye

Ek pal kaafi hai.

Usay pasand karne ke liye

Ek din kaafi hai.

Us se ishq karne ke liye

Ek saal kaafi hai.

Lekin us ek chehre ko bhoolne ke liye

Ek zindagi kam hai.

- Kumar Vishwas

Farq tha hum dono

Ki mohobbat mein.

Mujhe us se hee thi.

Usay mujh se bhi thi.

I met you and I was afraid that I might like you.

But I ended up liking you and was afraid that I might fall in love with you.

But eventually I fell in love with you and was afraid to lose you.

I lost you and now I am afraid I will never be able to forget you.

- Subham

 Khush to wo rehte hain

Jo jismon se khelte hain.

Rooh se mohabbat karne walon ko

Aksar tadapte dekha hai.

4/26/2024 05:30:00 pm Share:

Untitled

The urge is real now. I really want it to end. Only if I was brave enough to do it myself. I would have no regrets. I have everything setup good now. So no harm other than the emotional one to family. But that's natural. And eventually everything will come around, as it always happens. Life goes on.

It seems like I am just running away from myself. Always trying to engage in something or the other, just to distract myself consistently, only to evade her thoughts. Nothing seems peaceful anymore. Every city seems problematic and unlikeable. Now I think no matter where I go, it will feel the same. The problem is not with the place, but me. My longing. My own broken self. My desire to get rid of her. My desire to get her. My desire to finish everything.

Hopefully time will heal me. Or who knows if I get lucky with my ticket to the top floor.

4/22/2024 11:38:00 pm Share:

6 years

I just realized it has been 6 years now. The dread is so real now. I was supposed to come out of it in 4 years itself, max 5 years. But now I fear it might be forever. Is this longing going to be permanent? Will it never go? At least if those good memories are gone, then it will be so helpful. Hope the scientists/doctors invent something soon to delete selective memories. 

The worst thing is that I still have hope. I can't seem to kill that hope. People will say I have not accepted reality. I know all that, still the heart thinks it is possible. And the possibility of the magical future with her makes it all the more wanting. Hope is a strange thing. Makes you suffer so much pain. Makes you feel so good about the possible future that you bear the hollowness so much more.

And my mind still dwindles between the thought of talking to her about it and not contacting her just like the last few years. She must be so happy, why to rub off my sorrow and negativity on to her, even though it might be just a little bit. I know she won't be affected, still the heart says why take a chance. Let her be happy. I always wish all the good for her. I hope she remains purposeful and prosper. I hope I move on. I hope I forget her. I wish I hadn't fallen for her. 

3/01/2024 12:33:00 am Share:

Usko Maaloom Kahaan Hoga

उसको मालूम कहाँ होगा, क्या ख़बर होगी।

वो मेरे दिल के टूटने से बेख़बर होगी।

वक़्त के साथ मेरे घाव भर तो जायेंगे,

फ़िर भी थोड़ी सी तो तकलीफ़ उम्र भर होगी।

उसको मालूम कहाँ होगा, क्या खबर होगी।

वो मेरे दिल के टूटने से बेख़बर होगी।

        - Neelesh Misra

Humne ek umr gawa di teri chaahat mein,

Kitna khush kismat hoga tujhe muft mein paane wala.

Tum mile hee na hote to kitna achha tha.

Mil ke bichhde na hote to kitna achha tha.

Hazaron dard mile tere chaahat mein,

Kabhi dil hee na laga hota to kitna achha tha.

2/03/2024 08:22:00 pm Share: