It's been the 5th day of knowing that KK is no more. The initial 2 days were difficult for me. I was constantly going into episodes of watery eyes. With everyone at home, I had be vigilant to hide it as I don't think they would understand what KK meant to me. At night, seeing other well known people's reactions on the incident and trubutes to him, comments and posts, celebrities and common people, I couldn't stop myself from crying. Now checking feeds on fb, twitter, insta or youtube is difficult too. Everywhere, it's KK. The irony is, when he was alive, people like me always wanted him to be a little more popular, wanted him to get shown up more in media, just so that more people would know what a great human being he was. What his outlook towards life was, how he sees people and life. And most of all, in all this, if it would help him get more songs for singing. The irony is, now he is everywhere, but he is not there. And even in this tragedy, people like me, take solace that at least a little due he is getting now, but sadly in his death.
Initial day, I wasn't able to accept what had happened. I wasn't able to concentrate on anything. I was taking it all that casual, till afternoon the same thought kept coming to me, that maybe it's just a bad dream and I will get up soon. The second day, towards the end, it started syncing in, the reality. That it has happened. That too where? In Bengal, in Kolkata, me being a bengali, it's so heartbreaking. I think about the KK fans who had attended that concert. Some of them would be in so much guilt. Some of them would feel such great sorrow. I think about Mr Hitesh Bhatt, KK sir's manager. He would be in terrible condition. Whoever was with him that day, they all, throughout their life, will never forget, that they could have taken him directly to hospital. But whoever has attended a KK concert would know, there was nothing unusual about him that night, except the heat condition on stage. In almost all his concert he performs like a true rockstar. Jumping, dancing, running, belting high octaves, drinking water, sweating. It's difficult to see this different from any other concert. They must have thought taking rest will calm everything, hence hotel and not hospital. As at that point, they must have not felt anything about hospital. I am not justifying any action of anybody, I am just speculating as per my own experiences. And we regret these judgements our whole life, or quite a significant amount of our life. I just wish if KK would have not ignored how he must be feeling. Or maybe somehow he would have known if he did have any best ailment. But who will think with such good lifestyle, food, fit body, one might get problems.
I think about Jyothy ma'am. KK sir had just bought a new Audi a few months back. On Jyothy ma'am birthday, he took him in that car on a ride. It all still feels so unreal. He came in the Kapil Sharma Show with his daughter Tamara, just a few months back.
Saw many artists paying teibute to him in their own concerts. Talking about how he was an inspiration. His singing techniques. His personality. All that is happening, but he is not there.
My KK story is not so different from other KK admirers. I am from a lower middle class family, and the connection to music in our household has always been limited to being occasional listeners of songs from the outside world or the shows in TV. My interest in singing and in music started because of KK. I didn't use to listen to songs nor did I have any interest in them. Just the occasional hearing whenever there used to be wedding nearby, or puja festival, as in this part of India, they play songs in loudspeakers on these events. Or from music playing in a vehicle or somewhere when you are travelling. But as I was growing up, I started getting little interest in knowing songs as we kids used to sing in the bus on the way returning from school to home. But still that wasn't much. Then during 2009-2010, I heard 2 songs, Sajde Kiye Hain Lakhon from Khatta Meetha and I am in Love from OUATIM. I immediately fell in love with those songs, the melody, the lyrics and how it was sung, the style, the enunciation of the words, the highs. I started searching the singer, by then luckily we had a phone and internet. Those days just getting speeds of 10-20 kbps was something to boast of in rural areas like my place. 1 GB for full month. Anyways, I found the name KK. I was a intriguing factor because the name had so much mystery with it. Just 2 letters. At that time only wikipedia had KrishnaKumar Kunnath. Everywhere else it was either KK Menon or just KK. For a long time the debate was on for his real full name. TheMesmerizer.com cleared the confusion a bit. That was the only site on internet, that had some collection of interviews and information of KK.
Anyway, I am diverting again. So when I researched more about him, I found that most of the songs that had stood out for me till then, were all sung by KK. His songs were everywhere, so popular, but no one knew about the singer.
6/06/2022 08:29:00 am
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