I am staring at her whatsapp status, looking for if she's online. Of course not, this is 2:24 am in the middle of night. She would probably be asleep. But anyway what's the point, we don't chat. I don't even have her number saved as contact on my phone. It's just a number, I remember it. I yearn to talk to her, but what good would that do. That will just increase my iota of pain. I somehow wish that she would be with me. Although I totally know that she is out of my league and I anyway don't deserve her. But just that the greed to have the amazing time of life I had when I was in her company makes me lure into the idea and fantasy that somehow magically things become the way I want. I know this is absolutely selfish and outright wrong but I can't help it.
Today is 19 June, a month later than the original post above. Of late I have started fearing if this longing will last for my whole life. Soon it will become Meri Pyari Bindu and 96. I am scared just thinking about it. Maana Ke Hum Yaar Nahi defines my situation in the best possible way. I can't stop it from becoming my reality but I hope I get cured before that happens. I am unsure if I would be able to handle that.
5/27/2021 02:31:00 am
Share:
0 comments: