Help on moving on over Love

Getting over and moving on from Love

Over the years I have searched and collected the sources I will be sharing today that might be useful for people to get better after their initial realisation. The sole aim of this post is to help you deal with your condition better when you have been in love or are in love and have lost or are losing everything to it. These sources of knowledge/information/facts might help you lessen the pain and help you come to terms with reality a little bit more.

The Ted talk The brain in love by Helen Fisher is about the mechanism and working of the concept of love. The biological technicalities that happen during the process and deeper details on it.

It will help to come to terms with the fact that it's all reality. It is actually there whatever is happening, and not some Bollywood and popular fiction myth that's going around for decades.


This TedX talk Can We Choose to Fall Out of Love? by Dessa gives a working example of her own life that how much knowing about this process of love and it's aftermath, it's working can help one get over it. This is perfect because Dessa one of the few people, just like me who takes a hell lot of time to get over love. The first time it happened to me, after the discovery that only I had the feelings for her and not she, it took me a total of 5 years to fully get over her. Also it is much more relatable to me because I had fallen in love both times with someone who never felt the same towards me. First was never that close, we were classmates, not even friends, or barely qualified as friends. The second came so close to me that I myself didn't know when all that happened and later I realised that I had never had anyone in my life come that close to me, not even my family. The connection was magic. Sorry, I deviated into my own story.

Dessa here actually quotes the earlier Ted talk by Helen in her speech and how it gave her the idea of doing the experiment.


This Ted talk How to fix a broken heart by Guy Winch is about how to get on with the past, lose away the negativity and bad things that come once you're in that situation and are dealing with it.

Guy says the things that are important to be done in order to overcome the strong feelings, that destroys one's everyday of their life. But to do these things is also quite difficult. One thing that is core to all the points is detaching yourself from the person of interest completely. And this is also the recurring marquee that is present in the next videos as well.


This TedX talk Love and heartbreak in the new India by Dr. Shyam Bhat is totally inclined to Indian context even though the matter that we are talking about here is universal and the same things come into picture globally in matters of love. Although it's eye-opening for a common average Indian who goes through unrequited love like me or breakup from an ongoing relationship.

Dr Shyam says all the things that actually happen during heartbreak, absolutely true. How it actually feels during the phase and after it. The gist is that heartbreaks cause actual pain just as one gets pain when physically hurt. It is deadly too and can kill. That pain is real and we have to understand and accept it. Just like a wound takes time to heal, this too shall take it's own time to heal. This video is totally relatable to my second stunt at love, the present one and I hope the last too. Because this time we were friends.

This last source is a very famous channel ASAP Science video How To Get Over Your Ex. It's a short video having all the above points consolidated into one.

Having said all that I know how difficult it is to actually make it happen. To finally get over, move on and again become the soulful, happy and enthusiastic self that one was earlier. I don't know how many can relate to what I have tried to tell here. If you're one of the victim, hope it helps you. 

I am a bit scared to say but I might be developing Takotsubo cardiomyopathy in me, I hope I am healed soon enough.

Good Luck!

2/24/2019 11:21:00 pm Share:

Zindagi - Life

I am fed up of life now. What growing up has given me and what it has taken away are the things I would never want to take and give away.

In the job, in office, in the places of public interest, in the industry, in the ministries, in the country, everywhere, people are just lying with the sole purpose of making their life better, saving as much as they can, grabbing as much as they can, losing as less as they can. They're using every tactic they can apply to just make their life a little more better. But they don't care about the cost it comes with, they don't bother about the ramifications of their action on others in doing so.

The exact same thing is also present even at family, our own home, within our own relatives. The race to succeed and lose as less as possible. To better first own selves and then think about others. At some of the areas, it even feels that they are rightly so in what they're trying to achieve, at least for the family. But isn't it because we have grown up and we don't anymore think like a child. The selfless or innocent being that once we were.

In all this I have started hating people altogether. I start thinking that if this is what I had to deal with after growing up, I was better off a child. The world that I have to deal with in life is not what I want. It was so simple as a child comparing with what an adult is supposed to face. I am one of those beings who sucks at politics and diplomacy. I am supremely bad at lying about things you are supposed to lie about when you're an adult dealing with relatives or co-workers.

And you have to constantly decide what is good for you. People will keep trying to manipulate you. This was true even for the childhood, but the stakes are sky high here compared to what it was in childhood.

I hate life. I hate having grown up. I hate to deal with the things life is throwing at me. And probably will keep throwing. I think I am an escapist. I feel I am done. I want to be a child. I want this life to end or to be in a state not having to deal with all this drama.

2/07/2019 09:54:00 pm Share:

Some lines

Some Lines - चंद पंक्तियाँ

सावन में रुत ना बरसी, न बसंत फूल लाया

तेरे प्यार में तेरे बिन ऐसा भी साल आया

                                                         - Neelesh Misra

उलझनें क्या बताऊँ तुझे ज़िन्दगी की

तेरे ही गले लगकर तेरी ही शिकायतें करनी हैं

                                                         - Piyush Mishra

मेरा ग़म का खज़ाना है, तेरे पास मुस्कराहट

अपना जो है ले जाओ, मेरा जो है दे जाओ

                                                         - Neelesh Misra

लगता है आज ज़िन्दगी कुछ खफा है

चलिए छोड़िये कौन सी पहली दफा है

                                                         - Gulzar

टूटे हुए दिल से मुस्कुराना इश्क है

उसकी ख़ुशी के लिए उसे ही भूल जाना इश्क है

                                                         - Anonymous

बैठ तेरे सामने सोचा किये

शाम ज्यादा ख़ूबसूरत है की तू

                                                         - Neelesh Misra

दर्द हो दिल में तो दवा कीजिये 

दिल ही जब दर्द हो तो क्या कीजिये

                                                         - Mirza Ghalib

हमारे मन के कमरे में, यूँ एक मंज़र अनोखा हो 

हवा की तेज़ लहरें हों, कहीं पानी का झोंका हो 

और एक लम्हे की कश्ती पे, कुछ इस तरह तू बैठी हो

वही मेरी हकीकत हो, वही नज़रों का धोखा हो

हमारे मन के कमरे में, यूँ एक मंज़र अनोखा हो 

                                                         - Neelesh Misra

चुप रहो तो पूछता है खैर है

लो, ख़ामोशी भी शिकायत हो गयी

                                                         - Akhtar Ansari Akbarabadi

उसको मालूम कहाँ होगा, क्या खबर होगी

वो मेरे दिल के टूटने से बेखबर होगी

वक़्त बीतेगा तो ये घाव भर भी जायेंगे

पर ये थोड़ी सी तो तकलीफ़ उम्र भर होगी

                                                         - Neelesh Misra

ये कैसा नशा है

मैं किस अजब खुमार में हूँ

तू आ के जा भी चुकी है

मैं इंतज़ार में हूँ

                                                         - Muneer Niyazi

अपनी यादों से कहो एक दिन की छुट्टी दे मुझे

इश्क के हिस्से में भी इतवार होना चाहिए

                                                         - Munawwar Rana

2/03/2019 08:50:00 pm Share: