I am fed up of life now. What growing up has given me and what it has taken away are the things I would never want to take and give away.
In the job, in office, in the places of public interest, in the industry, in the ministries, in the country, everywhere, people are just lying with the sole purpose of making their life better, saving as much as they can, grabbing as much as they can, losing as less as they can. They're using every tactic they can apply to just make their life a little more better. But they don't care about the cost it comes with, they don't bother about the ramifications of their action on others in doing so.
The exact same thing is also present even at family, our own home, within our own relatives. The race to succeed and lose as less as possible. To better first own selves and then think about others. At some of the areas, it even feels that they are rightly so in what they're trying to achieve, at least for the family. But isn't it because we have grown up and we don't anymore think like a child. The selfless or innocent being that once we were.
In all this I have started hating people altogether. I start thinking that if this is what I had to deal with after growing up, I was better off a child. The world that I have to deal with in life is not what I want. It was so simple as a child comparing with what an adult is supposed to face. I am one of those beings who sucks at politics and diplomacy. I am supremely bad at lying about things you are supposed to lie about when you're an adult dealing with relatives or co-workers.
And you have to constantly decide what is good for you. People will keep trying to manipulate you. This was true even for the childhood, but the stakes are sky high here compared to what it was in childhood.
I hate life. I hate having grown up. I hate to deal with the things life is throwing at me. And probably will keep throwing. I think I am an escapist. I feel I am done. I want to be a child. I want this life to end or to be in a state not having to deal with all this drama.
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