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Sunday 24 February 2019

Help on moving on over Love

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Getting over and moving on from Love


Over the years I have searched and collected the sources I will be sharing today that might be useful for people to get better after their initial realisation. The sole aim of this post is to help you deal with your condition better when you have been in love or are in love and have lost or are losing everything to it. These sources of knowledge/information/facts might help you lessen the pain and help you come to terms with reality a little bit more.


The Ted talk The brain in love by Helen Fisher is about the mechanism and working of the concept of love. The biological technicalities that happen during the process and deeper details on it.


It will help to come to terms with the fact that it's all reality. It is actually there whatever is happening, and not some Bollywood and popular fiction myth that's going around for decades.


This TedX talk Can We Choose to Fall Out of Love? by Dessa gives a working example of her own life that how much knowing about this process of love and it's aftermath, it's working can help one get over it. This is perfect because Dessa one of the few people, just like me who takes a hell lot of time to get over love. The first time it happened to me, after the discovery that only I had the feelings for her and not she, it took me a total of 5 years to fully get over her. Also it is much more relatable to me because I had fallen in love both times with someone who never felt the same towards me. First was never that close, we were classmates, not even friends, or barely qualified as friends. The second came so close to me that I myself didn't know when all that happened and later I realised that I had never had anyone in my life come that close to me, not even my family. The connection was magic. Sorry, I deviated into my own story.


Dessa here actually quotes the earlier Ted talk by Helen in her speech and how it gave her the idea of doing the experiment.


This Ted talk How to fix a broken heart by Guy Winch is about how to get on with the past, lose away the negativity and bad things that come once you're in that situation and are dealing with it.


Guy says the things that are important to be done in order to overcome the strong feelings, that destroys one's everyday of their life. But to do these things is also quite difficult. One thing that is core to all the points is detaching yourself from the person of interest completely. And this is also the recurring marquee that is present in the next videos as well.


This TedX talk Love and heartbreak in the new India by Dr. Shyam Bhat is totally inclined to Indian context even though the matter that we are talking about here is universal and the same things come into picture globally in matters of love. Although it's eye-opening for a common average Indian who goes through unrequited love like me or breakup from an ongoing relationship.


Dr Shyam says all the things that actually happen during heartbreak, absolutely true. How it actually feels during the phase and after it. The gist is that heartbreaks cause actual pain just as one gets pain when physically hurt. It is deadly too and can kill. That pain is real and we have to understand and accept it. Just like a wound takes time to heal, this too shall take it's own time to heal. This video is totally relatable to my second stunt at love, the present one and I hope the last too. Because this time we were friends.


This last source is a very famous channel ASAP Science video How To Get Over Your Ex. It's a short video having all the above points consolidated into one.



Having said all that I know how difficult it is to actually make it happen. To finally get over, move on and again become the soulful, happy and enthusiastic self that one was earlier. I don't know how many can relate to what I have tried to tell here. If you're one of the victim, hope it helps you. 

I am a bit scared to say but I might be developing Takotsubo cardiomyopathy in me, I hope I am healed soon enough.

Good Luck!

2/24/2019 11:21:00 pm Share:
About Subham Ram

Subham is an undergraduate student pursuing his studies in IT. He is a curious fellow who wants to know everything about everything except somethings. He loves learning web-designing, singing, reading novels and a little bit of writing. Follow him on Twitter.

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