I am confused and scared about what is happening to me. Is it happening again? Or is it happening for the first time because it never happened earlier? Or is it not what I think it is? It's just a few hours and I am missing the conversation/voice. How can this happen. When I think of post exam time, how will it be? How will I be able to sustain. Is it even real? Or just a play of some biological components? It's enjoyable but doesn't this kind of craving even for conversation mean that it's not the real thing, just a phase thing that has many names around. Moreover how can so many things match and yet many don't? I don't think it's this easy and accessible, right in front of you, to get the traits, qualities, characters and frequency you have been looking for, when all this while it was all there right in the foreground.
But maybe that's a different realm to discuss on and has its own dynamics. The reason for its abstraction might be because of my indifference to these things and the tedium or fear or exhaustion that I was going through regarding these. For one to see things, there should also be interest on the subject, right? But what has happened now? It was all unwanted, involuntary. I have no clue how it is going or where it is going and how did it even come to that or has it even come to any of that I am talking about in the first place. Maybe I am speculating too much and none of it has any reality to it. Well I fear the bad end and that's why I should not allow these things to haunt my mind. But whatever it is, it is filling me with positivity and if I see the recent past and my performance as an individual, I see myself at a good place. Things have definitely improved. Let's see how long it stays.
4/23/2017 05:27:00 pm
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