© Subham Ram. Powered by Blogger.

Sunday, January 21, 2018


Posted by Subham  |  No comments

Never felt this alone in my life so far, as much I am feeling from last two weeks. I don't know whose fault it is. But ultimately the cause is because of me I guess. My wrong decisions and my failure of not being able to keep myself from the wrong. But how does one know. Sometimes they think that it's good, or rather say natural. Why to be a spoilsport. But then...... actually it's all about me.

I wasn't this alone when I was in ghaziabad in the initial days after that happened......neither was I this alone when I was in Bhubaneswar for the same reason......but here...I am totally alone. I feel no purpose in life no matter how much I try to reason and replenish my radical thinking. But it's not happening this time. I was a real fool. I didn't think about this situation, such an over-confidence I had. I hated thia state earlier too, and why not, anyone will hate it. Still my foolishness overtook me.

Sometimes very small things, minutest of things trigger those memories of recent past, the mere sound of a scooter being parked, can make you feel so empty. And in these times you always see people around you in such a way that they constantly remind you of your longing.

I wish I had never moved on. That way I could have stayed away from suffering again. This pain is like having something stuck in the neck all the time, and something causing discomfort in the chest area. Had I not moved on, or I wish it would have taken me two more years to move on, then I would have been saved from this misery. People might laugh reading all this, may think it's childish. But what do I do. I am this way and I can't do anything about it. I am trying to change myself. Earlier right after I became free of the old and just before falling prey again, I was in an illusion that I have changed. Now I realise, no, I was foolish all the while. I just wish it passes faster this time. Unlike last time. Or may the pain be there to linger on, but with miniscule intensity so that it doesn't affect my regular life.

10:36:00 PM Share:
About Subham Ram

Subham is an undergraduate student pursuing his studies in IT. He is a curious fellow who wants to know everything about everything except somethings. He loves learning web-designing, singing, reading novels and a little bit of writing. Follow him on Twitter.


Get updates in your email box
Complete the form below, and we'll send you the best coupons.

Deliver via FeedBurner


poem death bangla bengali love anger bangla poem brain emotion movie sad 6000 6k Ankhon Dekhi Bachendri Pal Bollywood IoT JRD Tata Sports Complex Jamshedpur KK Krishna Kumar Kunnath Subham Ram TSAF Tata Steel Adventure Foundation Treasure hunt Tumung adolescence aftermath ai airtel alcohol allowance android atal bihari Vajpayee bengali poem bio weapons biological agents bitcoin blockchain blog boiled eggs books brain transplant brother bully business camera charm cigarette cinema clash of clans climbing confusion counterpart cringe cry curse debtor descent digital digital business digital india discrimination dna dreams ebola effects ekta sundor golpo emotional emotions entrepreneurial equilibrium expectation expedition expletive family father fear feel feeling feelings freedom friend friends friendship future gift good government of india graduation happy heat help high notes hypocrisy idiot infatuation inr insanity institute internet internet of things internet rights internet.org judge key kicchu nei kichhu aache lassa life low notes marks mate medical science mixed feelings money mountaineering net netflix notions nuclear weapon obstacles other half padhaku pain parna past phone platform poetry premium psychological raajma rage rajat kapoor realism reality regret research paper resist review right to speech roommates rupees saas sanjay mishra school screen singer sister sites six thousand smartphones smoking society songs studies studious stupid subhamram.dx.am successful sun surgery swear technology telecom terrain terrorism thoughts time waste topper transplant trekking uber under underrated universe versatility vocal range voice waiting war white house xioami

Tweets by Subham

Recent News

About Us

This is a personal blog of Subham who writes here to help others with tech-solutions or to express himself. So here 'US' consists of Subham only. This blog is purely a work of emotion driven writing except the technology posts. Thanks for visiting.
Proudly Powered by Blogger. ® All Rights Reserved.
back to top