What is it about nights that bring you all the memories of past. What is it about nights that remind me of all the voids that have been created. And why am I calling them voids. Is it because till the time I had them they were so obvious that now I miss them. Not all the same though, because for family you start taking them for granted, it is quite common. But her, I never took her for granted.
The strange thing is I am writing about her here as if she too is in the same state as others I am talking about here. No, actually not at all. It's absolutely wrong of me to make it seem so. I would never even in my dreams think of her to be in that state physically/actually. But the point I am trying to make here is it's almost like them what she is for me now.
It's bad that I am putting her at the same spot, but I can't seem to think of it as any other analogy. In fact it's the same. The only difference is that this state that I have made of her in my viewpoint is totally my deed. And it's artificial. But for the other two nothing can be done. It's nature or whatever they say about it. Death.
Why did it have to happen all at once. 2016 and 2017 they went. And I made 2018 her last for me. But was it not because of her I did so. Probably not. It's all my fault. It's me who fell for her. It's me who read all the wrong signs, or interpreted them wrong. It's me who keeps repeating the same mistakes.
And my whining continues.......just like a zillion times. But it's still painful. All that has happened. All of them. All in such short span of time. Hope I heal soon.
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