It's been 3 and half years of my constant trying, to reset this thing and get this load off. I just cannot delete it. Most of the times I feel that, yes I have been successful in doing it. I have overcome. I have recovered from this ruthless and annoying disease. Now am free. But no, when I think more deeply, I find that to be what I want, not what I have been able to achieve. I am just embedding those false feelings over the reality. The reality is, I haven't been able to get rid of it. If God exists (I know there is nothing as such), I always pray that please let me be free again, so that I don't do that mistake again and land myself in trouble. I pray for that button or chemical/physical/hormonal phenomenon which could reset it in any way possible.
I wish I had not fallen in it, the trap. Maybe this is the time it should have happened, and I would have found the correct one without any mistake and would have avoided this long vacant ill period. People/websites/forums say it takes time. But is three years not enough? I envy those people who pass this phase within weeks or months. Almost all seem to pass it in a year or so. What's wrong with me? There are people (whom I find many in numbers and around me all the time) who do it in days. They just don't have any problem at all in moving on. I want to become like them.
When will I be able to leave from the clutches of this evil. Time, please do something. You are my only hope.
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You told me that you had finally moved on! what happened now?
ReplyDeleteYou told me that you had finally moved on! what happened now?
ReplyDeleteYes. As of 2017 I am finally done.
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